Facebook Rant

I often see articles on Facebook about things that can be done to avoid memory loss.  Although I recognize that this is an advertisement for someone to make money I am often saddened by the simplistic things that are said.  And if you don’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease you could certainly take time to do many of the things that they talk about.  But may I say that if you are dealing with someone who is struggling to remember every little detail of their life these articles drive me crazy!  A few months ago my husband was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer although I knew a few years before the diagnosis that we were approaching a definite change that would eventually alter our lives.  I knew this because my mother also had dementia for the last ten years of her life.  This is not a disease that can be worked through and out of.  It is a disease that slowly takes away the once wonderful memory of someone you love who you spent your life building those memories with.  Believe me there is so much guilt and questions that as a caregiver you ask.  Did I do this to him?  Could I have been more patient and encouraging?  Why doesn’t he try harder to fight this insidious disease?  Isn’t love enough?  The answer is no, I didn’t do this to him and God isn’t punishing us by allowing Alzheimer’s to come into our lives.  Yes, I can be more patient and encouraging and I am learning daily how that looks and what I can do better but that doesn’t change the course of this disease nor did I or anyone else do anything to cause him to “catch” this disease.  He doesn’t fight his disease because he doesn’t even realize what is happening to him and even if he knew he couldn’t do anything to change it. And last, yes, love is enough because that ends up being the only thing that you are able to give to the person who often experiences fear, confusion, and anger because they don’t know what to do.  I don’t begrudge anyone who actually has someone they love who has severe memory loss wanting to try anything that might help that person who they love and care about.  But the reality is,  so far there is no cure.