Holding Hands

I have had something on my mind for a while and decided I would like to share it.  In June Scott and I drove up to Utah so we could be with Rachel when she got her endowments in the Draper Temple.  That morning Scott and I went over to Walmart to get a few things.  When we got out of the car I took his hand and we walked towards the entrance.  A woman driving by stopped and rolled down her window and said, "That is the sweetest thing, seeing you two holding hands."  I thanked her and we walked on.  I felt really sad because I was holding Scott's hand to help him keep up with me but she saw love being expressed by that simple gesture of holding onto each other.

Shortly after that I read an article by Becky Thompson entitled "Holding My Husband's Hand Changed Our Marriage."  In the article she made several points. She taught that holding hands says: 1) I still see you, and you still have my attention. 2) I want to be together in the middle of everything else, and 3) I am here with you, and I love you.  Becky's article was addressed to young mothers who still have children at home and who are trying to find balance between being a mom and a wife.  For me the article was a reminder that a simple gesture can mean everything!

As we maneuver our way through Scott's Alzheimer disease I have come to realize how much a simple touch can mean, both to him and also to me.  I do hold his hand when we walk because he doesn't have the stamina that he use to have and he needs help
moving forward.  But now I also hold his hand because I want him to know that I've got him, and I won't let him go.  I want to be able to give him comfort when he has a panic attack and calm his shaking body when he is afraid.  I want to be connected to the person who has always been there for me.  That simple gesture gives me and I think him a huge sense of peace.  This new journey we have begun has been painful at times, overwhelming often, and scary to say the least but I am finding that each time I reach for his hand I am reminded that together we can do anything!