Update!

It's been a while since I updated what is happening with Grandpa.  I have addressed some of the funny things that happen but Andy said something last night that gave me the word I have been trying to find to describe what I have been seeing.  Health wise he seems to be doing well.  When we refilled his medication that is for his anxiety they gave me the medication he had been taking until our last refill.  It definitely is better, at least for Grandpa.  At the last doctor's appointment he handled it well and the doctor said we didn't need to come back for three months which is also good.  Now to the word.  Grandpa has become very docile.  His outbursts seem to be behind us.  We go out maybe once a day and on Sunday we don't leave at all and he has no problem with that.  He doesn't like going shopping now and whenever I do need to go and get something I continually reassure him that he is fine and we are almost done.  Today at the bank he never made a sound which is definitely a change because there is always a line ahead of us.  Eating continues to be a challenge and if I didn't make something for him to eat I don't think he would even question when we were going to eat.  For the last two years bedtime has been very regimented and at 7 p.m. he wanted to get his pajamas on and go to bed.  Now 7:00 comes and goes and he never says a word about going to bed.  To be honest, by 8 p.m. I am the one who says, "Why don't we get your pajamas on so you can go to bed?"  He now sleeps until the sun comes up in the morning and when it does he leaves the bedroom and sits on the couch until I wake up.  Occasionally he comes back to bed and sleeps for another hour.  The other morning when he went to get back into bed  I heard a big thud.  He had fallen out of bed but fortunately didn't hurt himself.   At least a couple of times a week he can't swallow his pills and I have to coax him to keep drinking water until they are either dissolved or down his throat.  This morning I took the key lock off of the front door and replaced it with the old lock.  I have no fear that he would leave the house now so the regular dead-bolt lock is easier to get in and out of. 

What does all this mean?  For me it is that sense of sadness that is always in the back of my mind.  I am grateful that he isn't anxiety ridden but it is often hard to see him struggle with his words.  We will continue to do the best we can and I am often reminded that the end continues to get closer.