Update

It has been a while and wanted to spend a few minutes to give you an update on dad.  He is wonderful.  He is often funny and still makes me smile when he is watching television and laughs at something he hears on the television.  He is so affected by music and often in the morning I have started putting on music instead of the television.  Music touches his soul in ways that amaze me and I am often brought to tears when I see the tears run down his face as he listens to a song he loves.  I have to admit I have reintroduced Alison Krauss and Anne Murray to him so we can both be touched!

Dad no longer knows how to use the bathroom without help.  That was the case with his bowels for quite a while but now he doesn't know how to use the bathroom at all.  I am finding that I have to take him to the bathroom and stay with him until he is able to pee.  A couple of times he has had accidents but fortunately the Depends make a world of difference and the clean up is minimal.  It is so fascinating to see what happens when the brain shuts down and also painful to know that it will only get worse.  As Graham is now potty trained I realize that I am doing the potty training thing knowing that dad will never remember what he is supposed to do.

Getting his pills down has me the most worried.  At bedtime he does fairly well but in the morning it often takes several minutes of trying before he is able to swallow all the pills.  I have tried different ideas but I know we aren't far away from him totally refusing and then serious issues will begin.  Along with the struggle with the pills is his lack of interest in food.  With the exception of his M&Ms.  I guess we'll find out if you can live on M&Ms alone!  A few bites of cereal, some juice and about half of a slice of English muffin is breakfast.  A hamburger or something like that for lunch is what he eats the most of and I think that is because we eat in the car and he can't get up and walk away.  Dinner is the hardest.  I have tried so many things (especially food he always liked before) but a few bites and he is done.  I bought some ice cream bars and after coaxing him as long as I can to no avail I give him one of them which he will eat about half most of the time.  I honestly believe that if I didn't feed him he wouldn't ever question me about it.  I think dinner bothers me the most because from dinner to breakfast is a long time and yet he picks at breakfast in spite of that.  The last thing I wanted to talk about is the fact that his teeth and gums are in such bad condition.  The gums are inflamed now and the tarter is significant but there is absolutely nothing that I can do to help him with it.  He would literally have to be put to sleep to have his teeth cleaned.  That won't happen!

To close on a somewhat positive note I want you to know that I love that I can take care of him.  I can't tell you how much I have learned about myself and how much I have grown to appreciate the wonderful memories we made the last 49 years.  Those memories help me remember why I do this every day.  Dad is loud sometimes but mostly he is mellow and appreciative of things around him.  I'm in awe when every once in a while he will say something so amazing to remind me that he isn't quite gone yet.  Even more is I have learned that prayers are answered and there are so many people helping us through this process.  On both sides of the veil!