Reflections in the Temple

I attended the temple yesterday and had an experience that I wanted to share with all of you.  Tomorrow my dad, your grandad, and great grandad would have been 102 years old.  Last night I wrote the following in my journal.

As I sat in the temple this morning I started to think about my dad.  I realized that tears were rolling down my cheeks.  I thought how hard I have been on him and hoped he understands now that I understand why he was sometimes so unkind.  In spite of past mistakes, I know he wished he had been a better father and although he didn’t always understand why, he knew that he should have been better.  It’s interesting to think about how much my dad changed through the years.  I attribute a lot of those changes in our family because we found the plan of happiness in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints which gave us each a purpose to be better.  I want to remember about what could have been if he had been treated with kindness when he was growing up so he knew what it looked like.  His mother’s death when he was 9 and subsequent events after that put an armor around him that few could penetrate.  Of course, the greatest story of all was the love he learned to feel and understand when our children were born.  Bill, Andy, Ben and Amy were his Balm of Gilead that reached his heart when my mom, my siblings, and I weren’t able to.  I love that I get to have a temple so close.  I learn so much each time attend. 

I wanted to share this with each of you to help you realize that important moments of understanding can come when we step back and look for those moments that caused us to wonder why.  Sadly for me I didn't give my dad the grace he needed because I didn't understand.  I'm grateful now that I do.