A Thought

I was thinking about what has happened since Grandpa was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer. It seems so long ago now but we have been on this journey for only a few years.  I remember the day we met with Dr. Weidman at the Banner Alzheimer Institute and he had the results of the brain scan that they had done.  He told us that grandpa had Alzheimer's Disease.  The interesting thing about it was that when we got back in the car I asked grandpa how he felt about what the doctor said.  His response fascinated me because he said, "I'm so relieved to know what it is!"  I think at that moment I knew that he would be okay because he had no idea what was ahead for him.  I on the other hand wiped the tears away all the way back to Christian and Amy's house.  At that time in my life I began to pray in a way I had never done before.  I knew that this disease would not be healed and I daily begged to have the strength to do what needed to be done.  I prayed that I would be kind the way I should be.  I prayed that grandpa would not linger in this stupor of thought for years and years.  I prayed that He would help me understand why and I prayed that I would be able to be happy.  Last summer I stood at our bedroom window looking out at the night and would pray as I stood there because if I knelt by the bed I would wake him and that created a whole set of problems we'd deal with.  Last night as I was praying before going to bed I realized something.  My prayers were so different.  I now thank Heavenly Father when grandpa has a good day.  I thank Him for being able to take care of grandpa.  I thank Him when someone stops by so I can have a regular conversation.  I thank Him for memories that often come to me during the day of better and happier and easier times.  I thank Him that I am never alone and for the knowledge that He knows the end from the beginning and I don't need to.  I thank Him for children and grandchildren who never forget us!