How I Roll...

I haven't written much lately because Grandpa has transitioned into I believe the next phase of his Alzheimer's disease.  I realized yesterday that it has been a couple of weeks since I have expressed gratitude for a good day.  Don't get me wrong I still express gratitude for many wonderful blessings I have experienced each day--just not that Scott had a good day.  We leave the house about once a day now and twice last week we didn't go anywhere and he didn't seem to realize it.  He now gets really upset because he doesn't know where we are going when we do.  Most of the time when I say that we are going back to our house he is absolutely sure that I am not going the right way.  His verbal skills are very disjointed.  Before he would start telling a story and lose the focus of what he was saying and so he would just throw in other words or phrases that didn't necessarily make any sense.  Now he will start to say something and now in mid sentence just stop.  Anxiety is back and going into a store has become very difficult especially if we have to wait in line.  I often remind him that he needs to use his inside voice because everyone doesn't need to hear him complain.  He spends a great deal of time standing.  He will be watching a show on television and then stand up in one place for an extended amount of time.  I often ask him if he needs something and he seems surprised that I have asked him that.  Now that I have explained all of that, I will tell you what happens to me when these changes occur.  I cry.  I cry a lot! Then one day I say, "it is what it is" and put it back into the hands of a loving Heavenly Father who is helping both Grandpa and me get through this process.  That's the way I roll!!