Caregiver Tip

#7  Dignity
After Grandpa was diagnosed I felt it was time to make a change.  We sold our house and bought another one in the Del Webb community which was a gated area.  As it happened we moved in next to a wonderful neighbor.  She was such a blessing to me.  She moved a short time before we sold our house and moved to Arizona.  Her husband had Alzheimer's disease and had passed away.  We had many conversations and I gained a great deal of empathy and help from her.  She told me that when they told her and her husband that he had Alzheimer's disease he made her promise to help him have dignity as the disease took over.  That thought impacted me so much.  Sadly, I haven't been diligent in keeping grandpa away from the stares and occasional annoyance I see on other people's faces.  Much of my thought process was to believe that giving him opportunities to do things with me was better than keeping him away from other people.  I realize that Grandpa is oblivious to reactions of anyone but I see it and feel bad that they didn't know the kind shy man who would never have done anything to embarrass himself or others.  After several incidences in the last few weeks I know now that I can no longer take him into areas that are large, busy, or noisy so adjustments are being made.  I run errands in the evening when he is sleeping.  Right now Lincoln has come over after Grandpa goes to bed so I can get whatever we may need.  Thankfully Aunt Amy is always willing to help out which has been another great blessing in dealing with this disease since we moved here.  We still go out for drives and usually eat lunch in the car after a visit at a fast food drive thru.

I guess the upshot of all this information is to share with you my "words to live by;" You don't die from embarrassment--you just wish you could!  I have often been embarrassed but honestly it is easier to smile and enjoy retelling the incident with a few embellishments!