Caregiver Tip

#10  Expect the unexpected
When you are dealing with a person with Alzheimer's you have to learn to go with the flow.  What works one time will be a total fail the next.  I have found that although I try to keep a routine in Grandpa's life it is often not enough.  I often get excited when I try something that I believe will be better for him--and it works--only to find that the next time it fails miserably!  Sometimes I have to remind myself that an hour after something happens with Grandpa he doesn't remember it.  Recently he watched the movie The Greatest Showman.  He absolutely loved it.  Since that time he has watched it several times and each time he is awed by it.  It is because he doesn't remember seeing it before.  That has come in very handy a number of times when I need something to distract or to calm him down.  Another great movie for him is Coco. He loves it.  I love his enthusiasm even though he has had to pay a huge price for it.  In an instant Grandpa can go from being a lamb to a lion and the simplest thing can set him off.

If you have ever heard the phrase "like water off a duck's back" you will understand how important it is to not let things get to you.  Let it land, but don't let it stick.  Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "It is your reaction to adversity not the adversity itself, that determines how your life story will develop."  There have been a number of times that Grandpa has said something that truly hurt my heart.  I know he didn't mean it or even understood how hurtful his comment was.  It is at that time that I have to remind myself that another time he will surprise me with a sweet word or kind gesture that comes from nowhere.  I don't keep score to see if the good is more than the bad.  I just cling to the good moments that make it all worthwhile.