Caregiver Tip

#25  It will never make sense
It is such a interesting experience to be able to take care of grandpa.  As the decline continues I am often struck with how hard his life must be.   He has such a hard time with the simplest of tasks and I do as well.   Some examples are telling him to take off his shoes.  His response is always the same.  I don't have any shoes.  I then say they are on your feet.  I don't have any feet.  And this happens every single night when I am helping him get ready for bed.  Of course that is just one of many exchanges like that that we engage in every day.  I often remind myself how awful this is for him.  I know this because it is awful for me to see it happen.  I wish there was a quick fix and sadly there isn't.  The decline is more evident to me each day and in spite of doing everything I can think that may help grandpa the reality is that he won't be getting better or even have relief from his struggles until close to the end when he no longer communicates.  Last week I was thinking about how grandpa is doing and in a moment an image came into my mind of Grandpa sitting in a wheel chair hunched over and totally non responsive.  In that instant I saw what is ahead and I knew without a doubt that he would already be there if I wasn't able to take care of him.  I challenge him each day because I want him to not quit trying.  I ignore the continual pacing back and forth because that is exercise that he has to have to be mobile for as long as possible.  I scolded him when he bit me as I was trying to help him eat his lunch because deep down he knows when he does something that isn't right and I am able to teach him things he may otherwise forget.  I feel so sad for Grandpa when he says, "Elaine,Elaine I don't know what is the matter with me" because even when I could tell him it makes no sense.  It makes no sense to him and actually it makes no sense to me!