Since we celebrated his birthday I will also update you on how Grandpa is doing. The big change now is that he no longer knows what to do when he has to use the bathroom. Because of that I think he fights relieving himself for much longer than he probably should. Although I have tried to help him he isn't always cooperative. When Sweet Grandma was in the Memory facility I would send them $80.00 a month for her Depends. I was sure they were taking advantage but now I understand how often change is required. If it is a good day he only requires one change but I am finding that often I will use at least four Depends in one day. I am so grateful that there is a product like this that keeps most of the damage in one place, but he requires a shower every day now to get him cleaned up after he has to use the bathroom. It isn't a particularly pleasant subject but it is our new reality. The interesting thing is that when he has had an accident he doesn't fight me when I have him get in the shower so I can clean him up. I have now gone from doing laundry once a week to having to do a load a day (I'm sure that doesn't garner much sympathy from you mom's who wish they only had one load a day!). I had to buy a rug for the toilet in the master bedroom. When we moved here I decided not to use one because it was a smelling mess, but when he does urinate now it is everywhere and when I was helping him the other day he slipped and almost fell and then I almost fell when I didn't realize the floor was wet. With the rug we have a better chance of not falling.
He is still loud and angry but it is in spurts instead of all day long which I am truly grateful for. It is interesting that even though I know he can't help himself, I am still worn out from the constant yelling. He is sleeping about 12 hours a night which is such a good thing for him and for me. Eating is mostly good and I am grateful for Dairy Queen. It is my go to place when he doesn't seem like he wants to eat much. Often at night we have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner and he sometimes has a hard time even eating a whole sandwich. Last week I took him to the barber shop and he did put on quite a show for everyone but the sweet young man who did the haircut persevered and got it done in record time. He did have to jump back a few times to keep from giving Grandpa a buzz when he got upset. He looks so much better and the people there were very nice about the whole thing. What comes next? I don't know but whatever it is we will get through it. I was thinking about a talk given in 2016 by Elder Robert D Hales. He talked about those of us who are caregivers. He said, "There is another special way disciples show their love for the Savior. Today I pay tribute to all who serve the Lord as caregivers. How the Lord loves you and in your quiet, unheralded service, you are following Him who promised, "Thy Father who seeth in secret, himself shall reward thee openly." He went on to say, "If you are suffering deeply, with others or alone, I urge you to let the Savior be your caregiver. Lean on His ample arm. Accept His assurance." Words like Elder Hale get me through each day. Thank each of you for the time to take to check on us. I couldn't do what I do without your words of encouragement. Thank you Amy for stepping in when I just need a few minutes to regroup. I love you all.
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