Caregiver Tip

#29  Do Something--Part 2
The reality of Alzheimer's is that it is a long albeit painful process and it is never a good idea to sit and wait for the next shoe to drop.  Grandpa had had Alzheimer's disease for at least three or four years before we went on our mission.  When I quit pretending that he was always "absent-minded" and went to the doctor he was already in the moderate stages of the disease.  That basically meant that it wasn't safe to leave him alone for very long.  After about six months into the diagnosis he couldn't be left alone at all and so I had to stop taking morning walks with a friend.  That isolation from someone who I could have a conversation with was ended unless we had visitors.  I also learned that for Grandpa a routine was very important and in reality it was for me as well.  When we moved to Arizona the routine was in place but I wasn't feeling confident that I was doing what was best for me as well as for Grandpa.   I loved a talk I heard in the October 2018 General Conference by Sister Christina Franco entitled, "The Joy of Unselfish Service."   In it she quoted President Thomas S. Monson, who said, "perhaps when we make face-to-face contact with our Maker, we will not be asked, 'How many positions did you hold?' but rather, 'How many people did you help?'  In reality, you can never love the Lord until you serve Him by serving His people."

I knew that I was serving Grandpa but I also knew that I should be serving others as well.  I couldn't leave our home to offer service and visit others so I had to find other ways to do so.  I had been indexing records for the Family Search program on occasion and so I decided I would actually schedule time each day and work on indexing or reviewing documents so people would be able to find links to ancestors.  I then went to the website justserve.org and typed in the city I could give service in.  I found an organization (Hushabye Baby) that provided care and treatment for newborns addicted to drugs at birth.  I emailed and asked if they would be able to use baby quilts that I was making and they were happy to have them. Now I make the baby quilts and then and drop them off.  I continue to keep each of your scrapbooks that I started when you were infants.  This year I added making a missionary scrapbook for Ellis and now Lincoln so they will have pictures and their weekly emails all organized of their time as missionaries.  I hope to be able to provide wedding scrapbooks as well when that time comes.  I love making holidays special and thanks to Pinterest spend a good deal of time preparing everything so that when the Whitney's come for special occasions everything is perfect.  I get great satisfaction as the little ones ooh and aah over the ideas!  I have made a hundred mini bundt cakes, dozens and dozens of cookies and cupcakes and brownies for grandkids parties and church activities they are involved in.  It has been a wonderful labor of love!

The point is--do something.  I find that when I am working, Grandpa seems calmer which is good for both of us.  It keeps me busy and not dwelling on the hardness of the task at hand.  It helps me think of others instead of myself and I can know that my offering is acceptable to the Lord because I love serving the way he would want me to.  Keith Hall wrote, "A life of significance is about serving those who need your gifts, your leadership, your purpose."  I think in this process I have found the truth that "life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful!"