Caregiver Tip

#32  Some Things to Think About
There are a couple of things I wanted to address related to Grandpa's disease that I hope will give some perspective that you may not have thought about.

Grandpa is not a child.  He is an almost 73 year old man who spent his whole life working hard, doing his best, and providing love and support to his family.  Grandpa was very shy and sometimes awkward in dealing with people.  He lacked self-confidence but never ran away from his responsibilities.  When he was called to serve as a Bishop he was overwhelmed by the calling and shared with me his fear he would let others down.  I remember once after he finished reading his scriptures he came to me and shared the following verse in Ether 12:27 in the Book of Mormon.  (And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.)  His confidence grew from that promise.  Now Grandpa struggles with the simplest of tasks.  He is losing strength on a daily basis.  He no longer recognizes the people he loved the most.  He is scared and vulnerable.  He says things he would have never had even thought before.  In those ways he is "like a child"  but the difference is big--he won't eventually learn how to do things again.

I'm not a Caregiver--I'm his wife.  I don't want to be known as Grandpa's caregiver.  I want you to remember that I am Grandpa's wife and I take care of him not out of obligation but out of love.  One of the best things that happened to me was meeting, falling in love, and marrying him.  In my life with him I never had to worry about where he was, who he was with, or if he'd leave.  Grandpa was 100% from the first to the last.  I was never afraid of him in any way and I always knew that he loved me unconditionally.  So I stand by him each and every day and feel honored to be able to take care of him.  I care for Grandpa because of no obligation.  I care for Grandpa because of love.