Caregiver Tip

#12  Choose joy
If you have visited our home you have seen my sign by the front door that reminds us to choose joy.  I believe that is such an important principle.  Lehi spoke of it in the Book of Mormon.  It is so significant that he should teach a principle of joy.  President Nelson said of Lehi that he " knew opposition, anxiety, heartache, pain, disappointment, and sorrow.  Yet he declared boldly and without reservation a principle as revealed by the Lord: 'Men are, that they might have joy.'  Imagine!  Of all the words he could have used to describe the nature and purpose of our lives here in mortality, he chose the word joy!" (Oct 2016--Joy and Spiritual Survival)  To me joy is eternal but happiness comes and goes so I have decided that in order to be the kind of caregiver Grandpa needs I must remember each day to choose joy.

With Grandpa's progression into the more severe stage of Alzheimer's disease I see him often become more angry, frustrated and aggressive.  I have often said of Grandpa that he always saw a glass as half empty and I see it as half full.  I often encouraged him to be more positive but it didn't seem to be a concept he could grasp.  Actually, when he first started in early on-set Alzheimer's I was pleasantly surprised because he seemed to enjoy things that he had not liked before.   But as the disease progressed his optimism again declined.  His smiles are not seen very often and sometimes when he does smile it would be considered inappropriate on a person with normal thought processes.  If you ask him a question expecting a positive response you will be disappointed.  His word is often an adamant NO if you ask him if he likes something and wants something.  Believe it or not, I think this experience has taught me the perfection of the creation of the human body by a loving Heavenly Father who thought of everything.  When everything is working it is a miracle in every aspect.  Since Grandpa can no longer process positive thoughts it is more important than ever that we embrace the joy he can't experience presently.  I often think of the time when he passes into immortality and be able to have an indescribable joy.

To each of you I want you to never forget the struggles that your Grandpa experiences each day.  He struggles because his mind is shutting down.  None of you have that excuse and I pray that none of us will.  It is our responsibility to choose joy as long as we are able.  President Hinckley taught; "Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart."   Another words--Choose Joy!