Caregiver Tip

#18  Be kind to yourself
When I first started thinking about my caregiver tips I just made a list of things as I thought of then.  It is interesting that today the tip was--Be kind to yourself.  Actually the whole title is; Be kind to yourself because they aren't able to be.  For the past two weeks Grandpa has been so belligerent and inconsolable much of each day, which is definitely new and very painful to watch.  He has had outbursts since the signs of Alzheimer's started to show themselves, but they were short-lived and infrequent.  I am dealing with the painful reality that something new is afoot.  Sadly, this means that Grandpa is mean (I hate to even say the word) and unable to calm down in spite of trying many things to divert him away from what is upsetting him.

At least 20 times today he has screamed that he hates me.  I know he doesn't but in spite of myself it always hurts my feelings. This afternoon he was upset with me because I asked him to do something he didn't want to do.  He turned around and yelled, "ELAINE, I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I DON'T LIKE YOU!"  I'm sad to admit that I long for his bedtime routine as much as he does now.  From 6:30 until I go to bed I am not being yelled at, grabbed, or reminded that I don't measure up.  Okay,  I need to go back to Caregiver tip #9; Pity parties need to be short! 

Every thing that is happening with Grandpa is what is going to happen when the Alzheimer's disease is in the late stage.  I had hoped the short outbursts would be all that I would deal with but that is not to be.  In spite of this new development I am okay.  I continually get words of encouragement from Amy who often has to deal with him as well.  I'm not crying which fascinates me!  Grandkids, I know I have pointed this out to you in the past but it needs to be repeated--"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is a big lie!  Make sure your words built up and not tear down others.  Grandpa can't help what he is doing but each of us certainly can and it is something we need to work on all the time.